Yo, I'm back as part of my new years resolution!
What does that mean?
So, I grew up with the internet, not in the sense that it was always there, like people born in 2000 or that it was always available via phone like those born in 2010. I remember launching games through DOS on 8 inch floopy disks, and watching my cousin play WarCraft and StarCraft. I did not get a real video game console for my self until the 2000's and spent alot of time online and playing flash games.
Miniclip, Albino black sheep, and other sites that where goofy and over the top, and I remember thinking, even though I visited it several times in the 90's that Newgrounds was too crass to spend time on.
Most just a fear of my parent's judgements I guess.
I did spend plenty of time on it though, and remember when Dad'n Me other things where coming out.
I can't really say why I chose to join, maybe I wanted to increase my voting power, or something, but I enjoyed logging in and going to the portal to help keep bad content out and show love to creators that where putting real effort into their work.
At this point, being back just mean Intend to show my love for art on the site through kind comments, and thoughtful critique to support the artist's as best as I can, on a daily basis, for as long as I can.
So, why do I know and care about Art?
My parents loved art, alot, and I did too.
I often would ask to go to museums for Birthdays gifts, and my mom knew I didn't like sports, so she would try to find art camps or lessons to keep me busy.
They where weird parents in many ways, but I learned everything from pottery, to acting, to drawing, to even just color theory.
I also really loved graphic novels, super hero comics, manga, and webcomics, and those where a huge part of my life growing up.
Something about creation, and story telling meant so much to me.
I would love to be a patron of every artist I can, but financially, and reasonably, I can not, so I will never watch a video, play a game, or look at art without commenting.
Why did I leave?
I can't really say why I stoped logging in.
Maybe some sense I had outgrown the site, or just no longer identified with the community, but I did stop coming.
I watched the net grow and change, I would come back, and click on some videos, and was happy to see Egoraptor, and Yotam on Youtube, Meatboy and the Binding of Issac was so cool to see come forward as they did, and I would see the Newgrounds booth at PAX, and was happy to see that growth, and continuation.
I guess I am coming back now, because I really do love art, and self expression, and of all the sites and services I have used, from Tumblr to Reddit, from Discord to Facebook, and like google +, myspace, and forums of yester year, it's the one that seems to have stuck with it's core idea of
"HEY! I made this! Isn't that cool?"
For me, the answer was, and is, "Yeah, that's cool."
Why is that cool?
Art can always be made for a purpose.
To advertise, to evoke, to tell a story, but for me, I think the reason I like Newgrounds, still, is that there is value in creating, and there need not be a purpose past that.
I still have a big mouth, and alot of opinions, but, now, being older I realize that using my ramblings and randomly collected ideas can help me encourage people to create, and share, and be happy with who they are, and that's what I want in life.
To let people know that we all have these internal worlds within us, and the beuaty of them, even the horros contained with us, has value.
Why leave comments? Why support Artist?
I remember the day in 2003 or so when a user shot up a school, and had been making semi violent art.
I remember that art being put on the front page, as the world was curious to find it, and the crew decided that hiding it, or removing it was not what they wanted.
I think about if we reach out to each other, and encourage one another, even when we don't the style, or the feeling they are trying to express, it might be important for that person to be seen.
I know that "madness lurks in the hearts of men", and that any person will have their struggles, but I think that's ok.
I think that is important, and if I can help people a little bit in their day by commenting on what I liked in their art, I'll do that, because it's what I want to do.
What are you some kinda "insurt slur or anger here"?
I know this kinda thing will get me called a "fag", along with other forms of hate, but, I'm ok with that in most part, because I can choose to ignore that hate, and just keep watering the flowers.
I think you all are lovely, and if something I say personally offends you about your art, PM me, and we can talk it out, but it's my honest feelings, and I won't take them down.
I know well enough that I can be wrong, and if I mislabel or misunderstand, please do let me know, but I would only ad an edit note, as I generally try to be honest & just, and I want to be able to remember how I felt when I first saw something.
What do you mean by "just"?
Basically everyone has their own truth, and art is the process of showing that truth to others.
While I might find something visually disgusting, or morally abhorrent, for me the point was the person was sharing it, and I can report it if there is a true problem happening, but ultimately my posts are not judgements of the artist's validity as a person, just of the art and it's expression.
So, if someone makes propaganda for an idea I do not like, I'll say I disapprove of the message, but then talk about the vehicle.
It's kind of like knowing the physical mechanics of a bomb from reading about it, and being able to understand how it's made, and it's chemical foot print, and such, without wanting to make your own bomb.
I trust this site well enough to enforce certain levels of human decency, and I don't support censorship of ideas.
So being "Just" for me is very complicated and on a case by case basis, but I will not vote as high on art I don't emotionally respect.
It's cool some one went to the effort to make it, and I will observe that effort, comment on it, maybe even give feed back on it but my score will be lower.
I might be more aproving of an idea today then I am tomorrow, and vice versa, even from the same artist.
This is my commitment to kinda do this for myself as well, because if I am seeing every one's expression as valid then I have to give my own emotions that validity as well.
I am, like all people complicated, and need respect in communication, but can certainly be wrong.
A rated art:
I am an adult, and I will comment on the A art sections, as it's something I do take interest in personally.
Seeing as that content is behind an age wall, I going to comment on it as an adult, and I feel no shame in how that art makes me feel, but, as I will also be commenting on stuff possibly made by minors in the E, T, and M sections, I am going to do so with restraint, as socially where I live, that can matter.
I do think some A content goes way out there, but that's my personal feelings, and will just be commenting on the craftsmen ship for that content most likely, or just choose to ignore it.
(I am a slightly bashful person, but I see no shame in sex or enjoying it, and don't seek to shame people for their own preferences, especially when there are no actually living people involved, but I do have some specific hard personal limits. I do not wish to discuss that, and ask that my privacy on that be respected.)
Why so many spelling errors?
So, I have a weird form of dyslexia, and a very good auditory memory.
Basically my spoken vocabulary is hard to simulate in writing because I know more words, in more languages, and their meanings, then I know how to spell.
The dyslexia is basically spatial, and I will sometime write
- W instead of M
- p instead of b or d
- sometimes just full words that feel related in my subconcious
and odd things like that.
It slows my typing even though I have been through training for years, and it also factors into certain problems with games as I physically can not always recall the correct key motions and so competitive games based on reaction are always basically beyond me unless I memorize the map and player strategies on those maps.
It's been a life long struggle, and I, at this point, am going to largely forgive myself for misspellings in comments, as I am trying to convey an idea, and am not trying to be perfect.
If made aware that a typo is making the message unclear, or I believe the persons to be ESL or otherwise inhernetly disatvantged to understanding my intent, I will go back and work on the comment, but otherwise, I just will not care about the grammar.
In summation
In the end, I just want people to feel seen, and to give feedback that will help them grow and continue to question the world and create in meaningful and beautiful ways.
I don't want to just watch a video and leave a score, because just consuming and leaving nothing seems wrong to me.
I intend to mess up, and apologize, and to learn.
I have my own past, and like anyone, and I don not have a clear idea what the future holds, like anyone.
With that said, I'll be here for a bit, and encourage you all to keep expressing yourselves, and I'll keep encouraging you as best I can.
Also, I am budgeting for a membership, as the crew deserves that level of my respect after all these years, and encourage other to consider the same, as this is a special place.
That kinda effort, the kind that makes Newgrounds Special, isn't free.
Thank you all for reading this, and it's good to be back.